Celebrating the Holidays After Losing a Loved One (PDF)

Celebrating the Holidays After Losing a Loved One The Holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year as you surround yourself with loved ones for meals and holiday traditions. But if you have lost someone close in the last year, it can be a time of grief and it is often stronger during those special occasions including Christmas. Spending the holidays season without your loved one can be complicated, but it can be done while still enjoying the season. Here are some practical tips for you who are grieving this holiday season. Reflect and Share Memories with Loved Ones. A loved one’s absence becomes more obvious when no one speaks about them. Instead of trying to avoid talking about your deceased loved one, make a point to share memories and stories about them during family gatherings of friends and family. Focus on funny stories and remember that it is okay to laugh and enjoy those memories with one another. This is completely normal and a healthy way to deal with your sadness. It is also important to talk about your feelings, share stories about the loved ones, share memories and recall the loved one’s life in a positive way that celebrates and honors the person’s life. Mix Old Traditions with New Ones. Honoring the life of a deceased loved on can mean feeling you need to continue traditions they passed down such as specific meals and events. But don’t feel that you need to continue traditions if they were not your favorite. Instead, take on one or two traditions you treasured and combine them with new ones to help you move on. Continue Healthy Habits If you are suffering with grief, you need to take care of yourself. It might be hard to get out of bed but do get up. Take a walk and get out in the sunshine for some fresh air. Keep yourself hydrated, drink plenty of water. whether your cry of not, when a person becomes dehydrated, it can be hard to think and get around. Keep a Journal Writing your emotions can help you through the grief. Journaling can be an ongoing support for you and a way to express your self. It is Okay to be Sad During the holidays it is okay to be sad. The same for kids as well. Allow yourself time to grieve and cry. However, if something makes you happy or laugh, do that as well. Reduce things that Stress You during the Holidays. The holidays can be stressful even when you aren’t grieving for a loved one. Give yourself permission to cut back on decorating, holiday parties, gift giving and other commitments in order to have time and space to heal. While withdrawing entirely from holiday events is not a healthy option, take breaks and space from any events or obligations that causes you stress. People may look forward to  your homemade candy or hope you attend the family Christmas part, but you should also know that they will understand if you pull back considering your loss. It is important that you stay in touch with others. You need your support system of family and friends. Communicate your plans if you choose to skip any activities or gathering. It is also important for others to know how you are feeling and connect with them in a way that it feels right. Consider taking part in activities that don’t trigger sadness or stress. Watch for Unhealthy Coping Practices Feelings of grief and loss can intensify during the holidays. Be aware of your emotions and reactions to them. Tiredness, loss of appetite and feelings of loss and hopelessness can be signs that your grief might be putting you at the risk for depression. This could lead to unhealthy behaviors such as excessive alcohol, withdrawing from social situations and harming oneself. Find Mental Health Support Seek treatment and support if the grief feels unbearable. Connecting with others who share your experiences can help you avoid isolation, which could increase the risk of depression. Accepting and addressing your loss is an important step in the grieving process. And while the holidays are a busy time, your mental and emotional well-being are too important to neglect. There are GriefShare groups that meeting in Parker County who can help. There are groups that meet in Weatherford: First Baptist Church, First United Methodist Church, South Main Church of Christ and Northside Baptist Church; Azle: First United Methodist Church; Springtown: Springtown Church of Christ; Willow Park: Willow Park Baptist Church; Fort Worth: Turning Point Church. Some groups may have ended for the year but will begin meeting again in 2020. Some have surviving the holidays events. Visit the website at griefshare.org. The first holiday without loved ones is difficult. While you can bring your loved one back, taking care of yourself, spending time remembering your loved one and enjoying the holiday season can help with some of the pain. Grief is difficult and often can often change over time and varies from different losses. It takes time to adapt. Grief is the process of adapting to change created. While it will never change the loss, it can still be a joyful time as you remember your loved one. Sources: Chapters Health System, GriefWorks, and Jenn Morrison, Huffington Post