Simple Secrets for Building Self-Esteem and Finding Your (PDF)

Simple Secrets for Building Self-Esteem and Finding Your True Self By Suzanne E. Harrill, M.Ed.  All rights reserved, COPYRIGHT© 2011 Suzanne E. Harrill Innerworks Publishing 167 Glengarry Pl. Castle Rock, CO 80108 Cover design by Garrett Purchio Book layout by Kelly harding, www.ellyhardingdesign.com Printed by Access Laserpress, Inc. Editing by Marcelle Charrois Inspired by the Messenger Mini-Books program. www.MessengerMiniBooks.com No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review or for teaching purposes. First Printing: January 2011 ISBN 978-1-883648-33-6  This book is dedicated to my grandchildren Joshua Allen Johnson Samantha Grace Shuemake Dylan Daniel Shuemake Jordan Herschel Johnson And all I do not know yet  High self-esteem is a quiet, comfortable feeling of acceptance and love for yourself as you are. It is respecting yourself while honestly seeing your good and not-so-good qualities. Sound self-esteem is characterized by congruence between inner states (beliefs, feelings, attitudes) and outer states (behaviors, relationships, health). It is being your true Self. "I am the person I spend the most time with, so it’s important to know myself inside and out. It’s not selfish to spend time learning to know who I am. I take the time to discover what my thoughts, beliefs, feelings, values, goals, and needs are. When I know myself, I avoid being manipulated by others or by life's circumstances. I prepare myself by knowing myself well." Suzanne E. Harrill, Seed Thoughts for Loving Yourself – Cultivating the Garden of Your Mind Day by Day  This Book is Unique! The Messenger Mini-Book you are holding is connected to an online technology that continues the message in this book through a FREE online environment. You will find expanded content on this book; audio and video clips, graphics, pictures, links and resources. If you want a deeper, personalized experience of this book’s message, go to the link below and input the book’s ID number. You can then access the extended resources of this book provided to you by the author for FREE. Enjoy the journey! Go to: www.MessengerMiniBooks.com ID#: 1234567 Pass This Book Along This is a Messenger Mini-Book and it has a life to it! Once you’ve read this book, we invite you to add yourself to the history of this book by visiting the website below and registering the tracking number. Then pass this book along. It is simple, powerful and fun to watch the path the book takes. www.PassThisBookAlong.com Tracking ID:  Table of Contents Introduction Theme: Deep Inside of You Part One: Getting Started Part Two: The Harrill Self-Esteem Awareness Inventory Part Three: Eight Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem Part Four: Affirmations Part Five: Why Are You Here? Summary Bio of Suzanne E. Harrill  Introduction My intention for writing this brief book is to share a powerful path for improving your life. It begins with building a solid foundation of sound self-esteem and continuing the inner work of finding and reconnecting to your true Self. I have been blessed with teachers who showed me the way to my true nature when I was ready to move beyond the conditioning of my early life. Many of these powerful teachers were never met in person; instead, I read their books and listened to their CD’s. My choice of a counseling career led me further on my path of self-discovery. I learned as much from my clients as they learned from me, as we are all teachers to one another. Many people I worked with were able to move beyond many emotional issues and thinking patterns that held them back. Most put into practice the secrets in this book. As a baby and young child we only know ourselves through the reflection of our caregivers. Our self-esteem is influenced  greatly from their words, moods, feelings, beliefs, actions, and how they treated themselves. For many of us, our self- esteem suffered from the effects of unaware adults. Now is the time to take responsibility for your own life and well-being. There are several major shifts in awareness that you must make, as I did. One is to move your center of power from an external locus of control to an internal one. You will learn to stop being a victim and being hurt by circumstances and other people’s moods. Your new focus within will help build your self-esteem and increase your ability to respond rather than react to people and events in your life. This inner-strength will carry you far. When you forget and get caught up in not liking what another says, thinks, or does, or you resist what is happening in your outer world, you will be able to re-center yourself and disengage from the drama and dysfunction you see. Another shift in awareness will be to open your mind to new ideas and explore greater truths. Much of what you have been  taught may no longer be serving you, and many of your thoughts and beliefs may need some updating. You will not only open your mind to new ideas and change your restrictive thinking, you will also be opening your heart as well. This allows your true nature to come forth. As you peel away much of the negative conditioning (healing and transforming is a process that never ends) you will find your innate worth and goodness; and learn to love yourself unconditionally. This you will then easily pass on to others. This simple book is a road map to feeling good and finding a fuller place of living. It will help you express your creative potential, have rich, meaningful relationships, and make a difference with your life. It brings me great joy to share these simple secrets to unconditionally loving and accepting yourself and living your life as a reflection of your true Self. Fortunate blessings, Suzanne  Theme: Deep Inside Deep inside of you is the seed of your true Self. This seed holds the blueprint for who you are − a loving, joy-filled, creative human being, experiencing rich, meaningful relationships and living with deep purpose. The true Self is hidden by the ego or personality of the conditioned self, which is influenced by the beliefs and behaviors of your parents, extended family, and the community in which you grew up. Learning these patterns during your early years was necessary to live successfully at the time; however, some of your thinking and behavioral patterns may be negatively influencing you today. Many unaware parents pass on low self-esteem, which affects a child’s emotional development. It hinders their ability to access their innate goodness, truth, and beauty. Loving yourself is the foundation of your life and influences everything you think, say, and do. Building Self-esteem will lead you back to who you already are: a  beautiful divine being of pure consciousness, who is innately good, loving, and creative. The following acorn analogy summarizes your journey. The Harrill Acorn Analogy Deep inside you know how to be you, just as an acorn knows how to be a mighty oak. The acorn does the best it can do at each stage of growth along its life-path. Even if the early start was less than perfect the eager oak accelerates its desire to grow every time that it has nurturing from nature: sunlight, rainwater, and soil nutrients. YOU are like the acorn, doing your best under the conditions in which you are growing. Nurture yourself with awareness, acceptance, love, and self-respect, then watch you grow into your true Self!  How I Wrote The Acorn Analogy It is an interesting story how The Acorn Analogy appeared in my life. Many years ago, when my youngest daughter was four years old, I would meditate for a few minutes before picking her up from preschool. I was asked to present two teacher in-service trainings that year. During one of my meditations I had a significant vision where I saw myself handing out real acorns to the teachers and explaining the ideas summarized in the analogy. I viewed myself saying, “We each are like acorns with the seed of potential of our individual Self inside. We are doing our best at each stage of growth along our life path with the conditions in which we were born. If the early start was less than perfect, it does not stop the acorn from growing into its full stature. It is never too late for us to grow and become who we were created to be. As we learn to nurture ourselves and  discover our true nature, we grow into the best we are capable of becoming.” I went to the first training with my acorns, which my daughter enthusiastically helped me find, but did not hand them out. Why? Because I listened to my negative self-talk which stopped me. My higher Self did not give up though. Guess what happened next? Right before the second presentation, I had the same exact vision of giving out the acorns. I looked up and said, “I get it. I’ll hand them out.” That’s when I wrote down the analogy. Eventually I realized the Acorn Analogy is the theme of my teachings. Acorns are a great symbol, reminding us that within each of us is our full potential, true Self, waiting for self-nurturing to grow and actualize. The next time you are out walking in an area with oak trees, pick up an acorn and place it in your kitchen window or on your dresser. Put it in your pocket when you need a boost of support. The acorn will remind you of the beauty and perfection of your true being deep inside.  Part One: Getting Started What is Self-Esteem? Definition: “Self-Esteem, on a subtle and often unconscious level, is an emotion, how warm and loving you actually feel toward yourself, based on your individual sense of personal worth and importance. It is how you feel about yourself.” L.S. Barksdale, Building Self-Esteem Early Teacher L.S. Barksdale was one of my early teachers. In 1979 my husband’s job transfer took us to Thibodaux, Louisiana. I applied to teach at a small college there, Nichol’s State University, and was hired. Barksdale’s book was part of the student’s curriculum. I needed his teachings to improve the quality of my own life, as well. I am grateful for his contribution to my self- discovery journey.  Qualities of Low and High Self-Esteem It is helpful to become familiar with characteristics of low and high self-esteem so you can recognize them in yourself. You can see what is working well and what needs attention to heal. It is very common to have some aspects of low self-esteem, even when you are self-actualizing and doing well in other areas of your life. I have been working with this information for over thirty years now and still get pulled down, even if for a short time, by my self-critical, judgmental voice. I then have to practice exactly the same techniques I will be sharing with you. A clue that tells you that someone is suffering from low self-esteem is that they usually have observable extremes in behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and words. Notice this as you read the following list of characteristics. Add some of your own. Many people start making positive shifts in their thinking and behaving simply by