The Bank Account of Life Understanding & Balancing Grief (PDF)

THE BANK ACCOUNT OF LIFE Understanding & Balancing Grief Mrs. Shona B. Johnson MS, MAC, ADC [email protected]  Reactions to Loss When a person experiences a great loss— whether people, property, jobs, normal routines of life, dreams of what might have been—grief is the normal reaction. Grief includes physical, emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual responses. Some normal adult reactions to loss may include:  ➢Crying, at times uncontrollably ➢Tightness in the throat and heaviness in the chest ➢ Increase or decrease in appetite ➢Guilt over unfinished business or personal irresponsibility ➢Restlessness; inability to concentrate ➢ Preoccupation with the life of the lost loved one  ➢Anger at self, others and God; flying off the handle at seemingly insignificant things. ➢Need to “tell their story” over and over ➢Attempting to protect others by denying grief reactions ➢ Increase or decrease in communication  ➢Role confusion in families ➢ Isolation or overprotection of certain family members ➢ Obsessive attachment to “linking objects” that may be the only thing ➢remaining of the lost person or place ➢Sadness, depression, loss of joy ➢Distancing from family and friends  MODELS OF GRIEF THEORISTS Sigmund Freud pioneered the study of mourning  ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS Five Stages ❖ SHOCK & DENIAL ❖ ANGER ❖ BARGAINING ❖ DEPRESSION ❖ ACCEPTANCE  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross In 1969 wrote a book entitled “On Death and Dying” Discusses anticipatory grief of terminally ill persons. Kubler-Ross outlines the five stages. Shock & Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.  JOHN BOWLBY ATTACHMENT THEORY ❖ Common human tendency to develop strong affectional bonds.  John Bowlby Attachment Theory continued… Attachment as a reciprocal relationship that occurs as a result of long-term interactions, starting in infancy between a child and its caregivers.  ➢ Grief is an instinctive universal response to separation. ➢ Grief is a predictable orderly pattern of responses to death.  Symptoms of Grief Initial Shock resulting in numbness generally lasts for several days, when the death is sudden. Physical Symptoms Tightness in Chest Insomnia Shortness of Breath Loss of Appetite Lack of Concentration Loneliness • •  Symptoms of Grief continued… Additional Feelings may include… Anger, Guilt, and Fear.  Anger may focus on differing areas.  Guilt is frequently associated with “If only I had” or “If only I hadn’t”  EXPRESSION & ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ❖Anger & Guilt may bring some relief. ❖May serve as reassurance that these are normal reactions. ❖Suppressed feelings causes the bereaved to exhibit signs of constant irritation and physical tension. ❖Leads to anxiety, desire to escape from reality and panic attacks. Anxiety and fear are overwhelming and disrupt normal living