Understanding-the-difference-between-grieving-and (PDF)

UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIEVING AND MOURNING  Grief is what we think and feel on the inside when someone we love dies. Examples include fear, loneliness, panic, pain, yearning, anxiety, emptiness etc.  It is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss.  Mourning is the outward expression of our grief; it is the expression of one’s grief.  We mourn by talking, crying, journaling/letter writing, using art or music as a means of expressing our grief.  Most people experience grief when someone they love dies, but if we are to heal, we must also mourn.  We move toward integrating the loss into our lives not just by grieving, but by mourning.  Mourning a death is not always easy. As a culture we tend to be uncomfortable with outward expressions of grief. We sometimes feel ashamed or weak if we show our innermost feelings, yet the truth is, it takes strength and perseverance to mourn.  If some of your friends or family are not compassionately supporting your mourning, see those who will.  Grieving without mourning is dangerous and destructive to your emotional, physical and spiritual self. Things to ask yourself:  Ask yourself this: “Have I been mourning this death or have I restricted myself to grieving”?  Do you have a difficult time expressing your grief outside of yourself (i.e. mourning)? If so, why?  If you have permitted yourself to mourn, what are the ways you have done this?  Who or what has been helpful in your mourning? Adapted from “Understanding Your Grief: Ten Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart”, Dr. Alan Wolfelt, 2003